3 hours and nothing

I miss high school. Not because it was great but because it was a time of self importance. Everything was so epic. I remember how amazing it was when I was into a girl. To quote Down To You, "Tingles and everything." It was simple...I like that chick, she makes me feel this way, I'm going to pursue her. Now, it's none of the above. Tonight I sat and talked to a smart, attractive, interesting girl with worse A.D.D. than me and I tried so desperately to get that feeling back even if only for a second. Didn't fucking happen. The worst part is I'm not sure if it's because I'm not into her or if I'm just incapable of getting there again. I've dedicated myself to going all in again. If I like someone I'll tell it like it is and don't mind the rejection or heart break. If only I could feel the heart break again I could feel human. I seems like romantic comedies and my daughter are the only things that can tug on my heart strings. Seems weird to wish for a girl to rip my heart while it's still beating but I do every day.